The last few days' blog postings have been heavy and serious, so we are going to take a break from the Haitian earthquake to talk about parenting and pets today. I don't want any of you to think this blog is going to be all somber and thought-provoking. My goal in this forum is to mix up the funny and the serious. Because that's how life is.
Lately, my daughter has been UNBEARABLE in whining about how things in the family are unfair to her, because she is the youngest child. Her big complaints? She doesn't have a laptop computer, and she "is the ONLY one in the family who doesn't have a cell phone." She is ten years old. Boo-hoo. These types of complaints do not get her very far with me, but she is convinced her life is hugely unjust.
Meanwhile, each of my teen-aged boy complains non-stop about his lot in life--"How Cece gets EVERYTHING because she is the youngest and the only girl." I can not convey in mere words the drama and sorrow these three kids express. You have to hear the impassioned voices, see the pained looks, and observe the pouting lips. Everybody get out your Kleenexes.
Last week, after a particularly long session of whining, I finally lost it. I'll admit this was not my finest moment in parenting.
"I'll tell you what," I snapped at one of them. "Why don't you and Lindsey Lohan go cry about how terrible your lives are!"
Probably not the best choice of words--but it seemed to get the message across that I was done hearing their trivial complaints about the perceived unfairness of their lives.
Now, my daughter has a new cause. She is waging a full-on campaign for a new pet. I have to confess, I have a sneaking sympathy for this particular line of arguments. Our little dog Pal died last year at age 12, and my husband is adamant about not getting another major pet like a dog or cat. I love animals, especially dogs.
We have some fish in an aquarium, but quite frankly--none of us like them very much. Fish are boring. Fish can not be picked up and petted. Fish do not care if their owner chokes on a mouthful of hot dog and dies right in front of them. Fish do not call 911 for you, ever. Fish tanks require lots of cleaning and maintenance. Fish just aren't doin' it for us.
As a kid, I had all the small pets: gerbils, hamsters, and the like. Truthfully, they smelled bad. They often bit. They stayed awake making annoying noises all night on their little hamster exercise wheels. I really don't want any more pets like those.
Cece and I talked to our wonderful veterinarian neighbor and his wife about something that would make a nice, quiet but yet still interesting pet with not too much maintenance. He suggested a tortoise, and lent us a book called Turtles and Tortoises for Dummies.
My first thought was "ACK--SALMONELLA!" but I am apparently misinformed. According to the book and Dr. Chris, turtles carry salmonella, tortoises generally do not. Turtles live primarily in water, tortoises live on land. Turtles generally don't enjoy being handled, while tortoises do. Our vet friend has tortoises for his own kids and believes they make great pets. He even claims his tortoises come when you call them (which I'm not sure I believe--sorry Dr. Chris.)
Now Cece can not utter a sentence without the word "tortoise" in it. She is doing a full-court press for a tortoise. She talks about them at breakfast. She chatters nonstop about them when I am busily engaged in other things, especially talking to another adult on the telephone. "When can I get a tortoise?" are the last words she utters every night before bed. I may become deaf if I hear the word "tortoise" again.
I am trying to impress on her that we need to understand how to take care of a tortoise before we agree to get one. We told her that IF we get one, she has to pay for it with her own money and clean up after it herself. This has not deterred her. All parents will recognize these promises. In fact, I'm quite sure in the time of the cavemen there were little cave-boys and cave-girls who were saying, "Please Mom, can I keep him? I'll do all the work. I promise."
Yesterday I picked Miss Cece up from school. Before "Hi Mom" or any other such greeting, she said, "So about the tortoise: Is that a 'maybe' or a 'probably.'"
I have a feeling I know how this is going to turn out, don't you? I'll keep you posted on the Urban Family Tortoise Saga.
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